“Nijaah

BLACK LOVE

Over the years, black men and women have suffered the most injustices. From slavery to racism, it was as though we would never get to win. Too many people, life still looks like this. What does this mean? It just means we need all the support we can get.

Recently, the world has been fascinated with “Black Love” which is just exceptional black people getting together and becoming exceptional people. It’s like this quote from the bible, “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” Black men and women are strong, and when we get together and support each other, we make awesome power couples.

Still, somehow, the rate of marriage among black people is sadly low, and the divorce rates are higher than usual. We are destroying each other rather than pulling each other up, because we don’t know who we are and the role we have to play in each other’s lives. Of all the African-American households in the united states, only 45% contain married couples. Many black women are in intolerable marriage situations and the divorce rates are alarming. The number of black women getting divorces or having unstable marriages is almost double the number of any other racial group. Children are being raised by single mothers and those mothers are saddled with much more than they should bear. The more weight is piled on the black woman, the harder it is for her to take off and take her place.

Each of us are strong people, however, the boost we can give to each other cannot be underestimated. Many women are living much below their potentials because, not only are they swamped with responsibilities in a world where nothing is rigged in their favor, they also have to deal with their own people believing that they should settle. Outside of the home, black women are constantly being put down by people and systems. Every day that we go out, there is something or someone there to tell us that we don’t belong here. Despite all of these, nothing has the power to break a strong black woman more than the voice she hears at home from the man she loved.

Men have more influence on their women than they seem to know. Every word, look, action has the potential to build her up or tear her to pieces. So, each time you are there telling her she’s good for nothing just because you’re angry, or you talk about her hair or lack of beauty to your standard, you’re chipping away at her confidence and self-esteem. When you objectify her, a bit of her confidence comes off; when you tell her to just stay home and tend to the kids, another bit comes off; when you leave her to worry about the kids and the rent and gas all by herself, you’re peeling off her strength, strip after strip. You have more power than you seem aware of.

Imagine a woman who knows her potential and is reminded of her strength every day by the man she loves and respects. No one can stop her. Outside the home, her bosses may try to keep her in a box, clients could mistake her for a secretary, but all of that will not matter. Men, be the cheerleaders your women need even if they don’t say so.

Just like iron sharpens iron, be the one that makes your spouse sharper. A woman who knows that she is valued and respected gives value and respect to herself but let us face this fact: self-love can die if no one affirms her value.

Dear black man, your women are strong, but they can be much stronger but your inability to lift her up demonstrates your level of weakness and lack of self-love also. Look at the greatest couples in the world and you would know that we are better together. One person can be great, but two people who strengthen each other can make a huge impact on the world. Knowing this, dating and marriage should be more than just about selfies and sex. We should add to each other in knowledge and in strength. Black men and women are carrying around so much baggage from history and their backgrounds and it is only when we are together that we can shed some of the weight and take higher leaps.

This may sound cliché, however, we are good on our own, but we are better together. History has shown that black love wins all the time. We need to remember this and sharpen each other as we should. 

 

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